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Tuesday, January 5, 2010
 Hi Guys.. wonderin y my title so emo.. well life is.. since i started skool.. its been a total nightmare.. i feel so left out in everythin.. as in friendship.. n even my own relationship.. idk y.. but its been tough since.. *u noe wat* after analising a long tym.. i realise d prob is wit me.. but wat can i do.. i did tried 2 change.. but habits r d hardest.. y is life so compllicated.. wat happen 2 d young days where there is not so much doubts.. maybe i'm jz living in my childish life.. wit full of jealousy.. i'm turnin into sth i nvr expect i could b.. jealous of wat other ppl could hve.. n i jz cnt.. backstab.. got tat lots.. well sth i ask.. y me?.. but d ans is clear.. ppl jz dislike my character.. maybe wat baby told me was ryte.. stop tryin n let everythin go 2 u.. but sometimes.. its d desperate feeling tat makes u lonely.. tryin 2 manage my life is d hardest.. but i'm sure any normal average form 4 face d same thing 2.. maybe its jz part of life.. so i can officially say tat my communications skills suck.. i finally face d fact.. so new year resolution.. tried harder 2 communicate wit ppl.. take life more easy n simple.. maybe tat way i could communicate well wit others.. whoever is reading tis. u could laugh at me or either b my fren.. cz wat i'm saying its true.. i do hve a sad life.. kidda.. as for my relationship side.. fightin is a very often thing.. idk y.. but tis is lyk d most hardest time of d year.. sometimes i really feel lyk droppin d relationship.. cz everythin is fallin apart.. n sometimes i really dunno wat 2 do bout it..  baby alwayz reminded my tat wat matters most is.. i love him... cz love is d only thing tat is keepin us goin.. c tat nice pic.. tat is how i alwayz tot it was.. but.. nomather how he tries 2 make me happy.. i'm nvr satisfied.. izzit a girl's emotions.. or iziit jz me? i love him 4 who he is.. not for wat he is capable of doin.. i could b d happiest girl.. but somehow i choose 2 b sad.. wat is wrong wit me.. so i guess now.. its d time 2 really take things easy.. fight wit my emotions.. go into d battlefield.. n try overcome d prob.. i dun wanna make baby feel bad around his frens 2.. cz if he lose them.. he will ended up lyk me.. d only thing i could rely on is him.. how sad ryte.. he aso has his life.. n i noe he dun put me in priority most of d tym.. cz 2 him.. his frens r more important.. making him spending tym wit me.. is lyk.. well based on d reaction i get.. most of d tyms besides d 'iloveyou' part.. his face is jz sad.. my boyfriend aso feels tat way.. but lyk i said earlier.. d only thing tat is keepin us together is love.. if not.. he would have left my life long tym ago.. only thing i could do now.. is giv him his way 2 stuff.. dun let him b so caged up wit me.. it wnt bring him any happiness.. tat's all for 2day's post.. my keyboard is wet with my tears.. boyfriend is in tuition.. he would nvr read tis post.. but its best if he doesnt noe.. making him feel bad.. doesnt make me feel any better too.. nitez every1.. enjoy ur 3rd day of skool.. as i will pray i could enjoy mine too.. xoxo, cute girl.. |
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